Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
