so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just want to make out with him forever
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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