i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
