all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i came on her dog
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
