On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Randomize
