ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
