OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
