Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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