Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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