my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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