Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
