All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
