Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
