I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
