that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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