I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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