i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
