At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Blood and glitter go together right?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
