Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
