I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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