My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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