This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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