it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize