508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
