Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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