This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
