You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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