Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
