yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I believe in your delicious
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
