Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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