I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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