I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
