Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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