Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
