He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
