I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
