don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
