Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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