i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
