I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
