Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
