i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
