Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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