I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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