Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
