white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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