im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
its not stalking. its research.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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