I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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