I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
