just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
