Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
