Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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