as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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