woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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