I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
