Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
