sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
